Finally, some crimes we can laugh at

There are two features I still enjoy reading over at The Daily Universe even though I graduated from the BYU seven years ago and haven't lived in Utah Valley for over four years. The first is the Letters to the Editor, though I admit I haven't looked at them in a while, mostly because letters like this one tend to make my head explode. (In the DU's defense, I don't think that letter was published. It only appeared on the DU blog, which shows that even the DU could tell how insanely stupid it was.)

The other feature I love is the Police Beat, a weekly run-down of all the "crimes" that occur on or around campus. Sometimes there are real crimes, but mostly it's just a list of all the pranks various students have been pulling. In fact, while I was a student there, Police Beat put in place a new policy that they would no longer publish accounts of student pranks, because they felt that by doing so, they were encouraging said behavior. Well, duh. But I think they have gradually done away with that policy since pranks are showing up again in the weekly reports. Besides the pranks, there are always reports of petty theft and the suspicious doings of suspicious males.

Until recently, I was left to mock Police Beat on my own, or sometimes with Jeremy. Now By Common Consent has started a Police Beat Roundtable, where a group of blog contributors systematically makes fun of crime reports from several years' worth of Police Beat columns. Basically, it's a dream come true for me.

If you're interested in reading about tampon machines getting broken into, women being snagged with fishhooks while they sip from a drinking fountain, and student employees tasting unidentified powdered substances they received in the mail, click here. That link will take you to the sixth installment of the Roundtable, which happens to feature Ken Jennings as a guest blogger. From there, you can enjoy the other installments.

In the meantime, watch out for TAs threatening to infect you with a deadly virus via a thumb drive.

The Woombie review

There's a reason sleep deprivation is a form of torture