Welcome to my blog. I write about fitting in, sticking out, and missing the motherland as a serial foreigner.

Happy sixth

I was playing around with Gmail's powerful search options the other day and I decided to take a peek at what was going on in my email life in the few days before and after Miriam's birth, six years ago today. It was almost like opening a time capsule - all the banalities and worries and excitements of those days brought back a wave of nostalgia. And honestly, not a lot of it was positive, besides the obvious fact of welcoming precious Miriam Damascus into our lives. I had a difficult, emotionally traumatic labor that stretched over 36 hours. Then Miriam didn't nurse for two days. My earliest emails to my parents in those first days talked about how I was unable to sleep. A lot of my memories of that time period are hazy, but I remember with crystal clarity being afraid to put Miriam down, not knowing how I could trust that she would be OK out of my arms. So I just held her as she slept and slept and didn't eat, and I stayed awake for what seemed like days and days (but was really just...days. Two and a half days, maybe?).

But in the time leading up to September 4, 2005, my emails to friends and family were about Hurricane Katrina, and settling in to our apartment in Tucson, and asking my brother if he ever listened to Gordon Lightfoot. The night of September 2, Jeremy and I watched Strictly Ballroom from our perch on the papa-san. After the movie was over, around midnight, I ate a bowl of oatmeal. Thank goodness, too, because that ended up being my last bite of food until sometime after 4.08pm on Sunday, September 4th.

ANYWAY. Happy birthday to Miriam! The poor girl didn't get much of a traditional little-kid birthday party, seeing as how school isn't in session yet and all her neighborhood friends are still out of town. So we bussed in some friends from church and our summer babysitter and called it good.

Now, I am not one of those amazing moms who throws amazing little-kid birthday parties. So in a way, I was glad that we were forced to go low-key due to the paucity of guests. Still, Miriam is six now and she's old enough to know when a birthday cake is special. So I tried to make this one special.
OK, so it's more off-white than white, and the ears are proportionally too small, and the bow is not quite in the right place, but dangit, that is Hello Kitty, and Miriam was thrilled.

My darling Miriam is six now, and honestly, I still don't know how I ever trust that she will be OK out of my arms. Fortunately, she still doesn't mind a good cuddle with me now and then. You should see her burrow in to a nice snuggle with me when she's sitting on my lap at church. I think she must have learned how to do it from watching a cat.

She's all about books and projects and drawing and (looking forward to) school these days. I can't wait to see what the next six years bring.

Why I like Dreamland better than Atlantis

September 2nd, outsourced