Welcome to my blog. I write about fitting in, sticking out, and missing the motherland as a serial foreigner.

Look into bathrooms.

Dear Europe. Look into bathrooms. People gotta pee. And sometimes we don't have the bladderinial fortitude to wait (because five years old) or 30 Euro cents, in precisely 10-cent coin denominations (because INSANE THAT IN THIS DAY AND AGE YOU SERIOUSLY ARE USING CASH). (FOR A BATHROOM.)

Can you tell we've been in Munich, that most stingy withholder of bathrooms? I swear we spent more time looking for a potty for someone or other than we did actually enjoying the sights. Plus, it was pouring down rain. At one point, we caught sight of a Spielzug Museum (Toy Museum), and decided that it was the answer to all our problems - indoors and out of the rain, with a high likelihood of a playroom for Sterling to fulfill his lifelong dream of being put down to play, and precious bathrooms that we could use.

Unfortunately: indoors but extremely cramped, crowded, and boring for kids (it was just piles of old-timey toys with tiny interpretive signs in German, but we did warm up to it a little), no playroom, and no toilets. Fail fail fail.

I get that no one wants to become the free bathroom destination for hordes of tourists, but seriously. This is something the UAE does right. Toilets are almost always free. Sometimes they are beautifully maintained and sparkling clean. Sometimes they are a tiled hole in the ground. But dad gummit, they are FREE.

It's not vacation until somebody has to visit the ER

Some German food