All the Hats

Today I'm tired of wearing All the Hats. I know it may be a case of grass is greener, but what would it be like to just be one thing? Which, I know, moms never really are, but still. To either have a career and have the entire family rally behind you, or to be a mom, and rally your own dang self but do all the mom things wholeheartedly.

Instead, I'm up at 2am with the baby and then up at 6.40 to get the girls off to school and then out the door to go to work. Then I come home and plan a lesson and plan a dinner and brace myself for the school run and afterschool onslaught of chaos.

Wearing so many hats is really hard. Individually, I love all of them. I do. I love all the things I'm doing and I'm happy to be doing them. It just sometimes gets to be a bit much. And not just one kind of much, but a dizzying array of muches.

Write a final exam for next week. Learn that accompaniment well enough to record by tomorrow. The floor needs to be mopped. Groceries need to be shopped. Kid A is feeling a little sensitive today and needs extra loves. And x deadline for y loathsome, oft-put-off phone call to the bank in the US - motto for a UAE expat, "Where it's never a convenient time to call, literally, because of the time zone and working week difference!" - is looming. My to-do list is a bizarre hopscotch of tasks, each more whiplash-inducing than the last.

Anyway, I wrote this post in my head while I was complaining to myself about the amount of time I spent on food prep, cooking, and cleanup today, while performing said cleanup. Now that the downstairs is tidied and the kids are tucked in bed and I'm putting my hats on the shelf for the night, one by one, I'm feeling better. I'm glad to be doing so many fulfilling things. Really!

It's just hard sometimes, don't you think?

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