Morjes!

Welcome to my blog. I write about fitting in, sticking out, and missing the motherland as a serial foreigner.

Family size

In the UAE, I never felt like I had a big family. Many Emiratis and many Arabs in general have very large families - every semester I taught at least one or two students who had 10+ siblings. One time I had an aunt and nephew in the same class. They were the same age.

In the face of such large families, our three kids were nothing. I never really felt like I had "a lot" of kids, or that the number of children following me around was a reason to stare when out in public.

In Finland, I am feeling the stares a bit more. Most of my students come from one- or two-child families. I do have one student who has seven siblings, but she is a definite outlier. When I tell people here that I have three kids, most seem to think that is quite a few children to have. Enough that when I meet someone here who has three kids, I feel an instant solidarity with them. Like we both belong to some crazy club. This is a feeling (and a club) that I don't think existed in the UAE until at least six kids (and in the US, maybe at four kids).

Of course, I'm also more sensitive to our perceived family size since we live in a smaller apartment now, and since we can't tuck ourselves tidily into a car when we're out and about. Five people is a lot of people on a bus when they all belong to each other. Four people on a bike plus a little one in a rumble seat stretch for a good distance along a road. Etc.

It's interesting to me how cultural norms and the surroundings can change my perceptions of my own family. And, um, I guess I have a big family now. Yay!

School days, part middle school

School days