Deal-breaker books

I got to thinking today about some of my favorite books that, if you don't like them, We Cannot Be Friends. This is a specialized designation that does not extend to every book I've ever loved. For example, The Book Thief is one of my all-time favorites. But if you read it and didn't like it - hey, I get it. It's fine. We're good.

But not so much with the following books. It's not that these are on my all-time favorites list (though some are, should I ever decide to make such a list); it's just that I can't understand a person not seeing the beauty of these books.

Don't Let's Go to the Dogs Tonight. You are not allowed to tell me if you don't like this book. I WILL BROOK NO CRITICISM OF IT FROM YOU, DEAR READER.

The Martian. Just because everyone loves it, doesn't mean it isn't worthy. It is totally worthy of the majority of humanity's adoration. I promise.

The Raven Boys. I will extend temporary amnesty if you only read the first book. But I will become increasingly unforgiving if you continue to read the series and are anything less than a rabid fan of these books.

Christy. This is probably one of those books that, these days, is politically incorrect to like? Somehow? Can't actually think of a reason why. Maybe it's just the outdated cover. But if you can't admit that you're a better person after reading this book, then we are not friends. (I just did a Google image search, and this book needs a new cover SO BAD.)

Papa Married a Mormon. Fortunately, I believe everyone I've ever recommended this book to has reported it to be absolutely charming. Because it is.

What are your deal-breaker books?

It's a small small house

Language victories