Every once in a while you see those "new parent sleep deprivation LOL" articles passed around on facebook or wherever, and they're usually full of "OMG I put the cereal in the fridge and the milk in the pantry!" moments. Which is definitely a sign of sleep deprivation, don't get me wrong. I have done that exact thing, and other things like it, many, many times while sleep-deprived.
But here are the two most sleep-deprived things I've ever done...that I can remember. Because that's the thing about sleep deprivation: it tends to destroy your ability to form memories. These both happened when Miriam was a few months old. All of our kids were horrible sleepers, but she was the worst.
1. One time I tried to take a hot pan out of the oven without using oven mitts. It did not go well.
2. This story is really weird and it took me a few years to come to terms with it, but now we all laugh about it so go ahead and laugh with me. Miriam was probably seven or eight months old, and usually slept in our bed with us. She got up to nurse all the time, so it was easier to just have her right there by me. I was chronically sleep-deprived - I felt like a zombie during the day and unsettled and restless at night.
Well, at some point during one night, I had a dream about some kind of monster/alien attacking us, and one of them was right there next to me, with a huge, bulbous head! So, while mostly asleep but a tiny bit awake, I bit Miriam (the alien) on the head. She woke up screaming. (I practically woke up screaming, too.)
Sleep deprivation: a very weird thing.