Funny things my brother has said

My 12-year-old brother, Steven, is here in Damascus visiting for a few weeks. Watching him adjust to life here can be hilarious at times. Here are some of the things he's said that caught me off guard and made me laugh:

On the night of his arrival, when talking about our plans for the next day:
Me: I'm glad you guys came in when it's dark. Wait till you see the city in daylight!
Steven: Why? Is it more...alarming?

Before our visit to the Seidnaya convent, my mom and I were telling him stories about all the women (both Muslim and Christian) who go there to pray for babies. They will spend the night in the same room as a famous icon of the Virgin Mary and then eat the wicks of candles that have been burning there.
Mom: And in nine months, most of them come back with babies. One woman ate 20 wicks and came back with triplets!
Steven (a bit confused): So, don't they have men?
I mean, don't they need men to have babies?

Steven is still trying to convince us to take a trip to the Bekaa Valley in Lebanon (deep in Hezbollah territory).
Me: Steven, I don't think we're going to go. Sorry, but we don't want to get kidnapped. Do you want to get kidnapped?
As long as we're released, it's OK with me.

An unwilling participant in smuggling

An honest taxi driver